Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
Randomize
