Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
