We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize
