Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
This beer is not sobering me up at all
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
Randomize
