Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
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