who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Randomize