he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
Randomize
