Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
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