Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize