i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
Randomize
