come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
Randomize
