dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
Drunk is a universal language darling
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
Randomize
