Me too!
Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
