so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize