Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
Randomize
