Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize