i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
Randomize
