I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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