I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
Randomize
