i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
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