My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
Randomize
