TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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