Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
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