Are we in a gay sports bar?
Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
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