Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
PS: I just woke up from my shower
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
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