whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
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