Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
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