Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
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