u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
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