i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
