I thought I drunk dialed Adam last night and left him a voicemail. I just checked my phone. I realize I left a drunk voicemail with my son's teacher.
why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
he's single and there are thong briefs.
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
Randomize
