Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
Randomize
