Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
Randomize
