How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
My pussy is not your playground.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
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