I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Randomize
