I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
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