I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
An there's a little girl across the bar eating Mac n cheese... #1 she won't stop looking at me. Boo bitch I'm drinking alone. #2 I'm about to tackle her ass for that Mac n cheese.
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
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