And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
we should paint friendship bongs
please don't ironically join a cult
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