I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
Randomize
