I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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