I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
Randomize
