nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
Randomize
