And the cops told us we were all naked.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
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