pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
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