you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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