i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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