i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
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