just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
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