You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
this just has baby written all over it
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
Randomize
