and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Randomize
