she looked like the bat from fern gully.
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
Randomize
