He disabled his match.com account in front of me
New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
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