Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
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