they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
Do vagina's smell?
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
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