can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
oh god was she eating orange peels again
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
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