I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
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