She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
Randomize
