Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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