the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
Randomize