he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
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