i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
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