Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
She tied me up with her honor cords...
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
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