You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
go do what you do best...puke behind churches
Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize
