i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
Randomize
