I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
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